Rockman's Epic Journey of Mass Destruction
by Ferris-Gasperoni
Summary: I think the title explains enough. THERE IS NO TIME; YOUR SWORD IS ENOUGH.
1. Not so humble beginnings

**Rockman's Epic Journey of Mass Destruction!  
Don't kill me, George Bush.  
Kill Rockman.  
Yes.  
:D**

PROTOMAN IS BENEFICIAL

Absolute slience.  
"Shit, I think we killed him again", a random voice.  
"Killed who?" another random voice.  
"Beats me. Let's just get some Pizza Hut", voice one replies.

Woops, wrong story. Sorry about that.

WEEOOOWEEOOOWEEOOO! "DOCTAH LIGHT! AWAKEN ROCKMAN, THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM!" says Roll. "Shut up. Protoman is more ultimate than he will ever be", says Dr. Light, pulling out a shotgun and blowing the crap out of Roll. Dr. Light then turns to a table with nothing but a big red button which says "PUSH ME TO WATCH SOME PORN". Then, he turns to another table with a big white button that says "ROCKMAN". He pushes it and a bunch of random porn magazines come out. "Wrong button!" Wtf? Dr. Light then pushes the other button and Rockman explodes, wiping out Dr. Light's almost afro. Then, in a sudden moment, ROCKMAN APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE ALIVE AND UNHARMED. A cup of coffee materializes out of thin air into Dr. Light's hand so he can sip it, making him look cooler. "Rockman... the time has come... your true purpose in this world... BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CUTMAN IN ROCK PAPER SCISSORS." Then, in a milli- second, Dr. Light makes a robot dog which can do anything. "I'm gonna call him rush because I made him in a rush, meaning that it could blow up any second." Without a word, Rockman kablooes out of the tiny lab, causing a massive explosion along with a huge oil leak splurting out, drowning Dr. Light and Roll's corpse in a flash. Then they reappeared outside the building. Too bad Dr. Light forgot to put in Rockman's chip for common sense. Hell, too bad I'm too lazy to put any effort into this story. So off Rockman goes, to Cutman's house on his flying sidekick. But then something hit him on his noggin and Rockman caught it as it was about to fall off. It looked like some.. robot. Yeah, a robot. Because, you know, Robots make beep sounds. ) "WHAT THE SHIT" Rockman cried out. "My name is beat!" said the robot. "Do I look like I freaking care?" said Rockman, who then kicked his ass off to pluto. So off he went, to Cutman's house. But first, he had some other business to do. It looked like Rush was almost out of fuel. Jeez, he only flew for 25 seconds. So he landed at some gas station called 'Fill 'er Up'. He looked for a place to insert the tube in, but it seemed like there was no hole in Rush for him to put gas. At this point, after all Rockman had been through, he got extremely frustrated. He sold Rush to some guy who collects... collectables. Rockman told him Rush was the first model of Godzilla. Then, Generic Guy 1 stood there, doing nothing. Yeah, he didn't even give him any cash.  
"Hey! Make him give me some cash or I'll beat the SHIT out of him!" yelled Rockman, towards the sky.  
Bird poop fell on his head. And caused him to suffer from a BRAIN DISEASE.  
BRAIN DISEASE BRRRAIIINNN BRRAIIN DISEASSEEEE STFU!

Just kidding.  
Anyways, Rockman walked for days, in attempt to reach Cutman's house, which is located About 1 yard away from Dr. Light's. Wait a minute. Let's change that.  
Over 9000 km away from Dr. Light's. But really, it's just a state away. No biggie. Now, let's rejoin Rockman in his quest to beat the shit out of cutman. "Gah.. it's so hot out here. I'm burning up", groaned Rockman, whipping out a kettle of cold water out of nowhere. "Ah, that's better", he claimed. "I'm gonna need a chopper as well." Out of nowhere, a huge motorcycle about 3x Rockman's size with a seat just right flings onto earth from outerspace at such a speed, 90% of the area had been destroyed. Then everything reappeared. Because games just work like that. Shut up, ok?

***EPIC DRAMATIC SCENE START***

Rockman lifted his left robotic foot up, and then started walking really dramatically.

***EPIC DRAMATIC SCENE END*  
**  
Then, out of nowhere, this total wierdo came out of.. nowhere.. and started following him around everywhere he went. Let's call him "Adoring Fan". "Hey! You're like totally AWESOME! I love your games! OMG! But you know what was totally better? Your games! Hee! Hoo haa hee hee hoo! HA! Hee! Can I have your autograph? Can I? Huh? Ca-" "Hey! GTFO! Thanks!"

Aww, Rockman, you're no fun!  
"What, and you are?"  
Yes.  
"I know what you are, but what am I?"  
What?  
"Well that back fired".

_Next chapter: Rockman's epic journey to a fanboy's house!_


	2. Not the end of the world as we know it

**We join our not- really- hero hero Rockman, still standing next to his only gay fan.**

"So when do I get an autograph?", he asks. "No", replies Rockman. "No isn't even the correct response", the Adoring Fan says. "Oh, sorry. I thought that this was a kind of game where you could only talk to NPCs and reply with YES and NO. I guess this game runs differently, eh?" "MALFUNCTION; ERROR 404 FILE CANNOT BE FOUND. PLEASE INPUT STRING", the Adoring Fan spewed out of his mouth. "BUT THIS ISN'T A WEB BROWS-" "INCORRECT". The game had apparentally frozen.  
SYSTEM REBOOT.  
"Ungh.. wh- where.. where am I..?" Rockman couldn't see a thing. Things started blurring in slowly, as Rockman got up, dazed. "Is this.. heaven?" Nah. It's the debug room! :D "Debug room? Wha-"  
"OMG! OMGOMGOMG!! DUDE! You're like totally at my house! OMG!" said a voice. Rockman opened his eyes. "Oh, hey! It's really nice to see you again! Hey, do you think you got a shotgun somewhere around here? I just need to borrow it for a second, ok?" Rockman said, calmly. "I don't think that 'calmly' is the word", he said quite calmly. "Stop it", Rockman said in a rush. "I'm not rushing anything", Rockman insert word here. "Much better. Um.. is that guy going to move any time soon?" ""OMG! OMGOMGOMG!! DUDE! You're like totally at my house! OMG!" said the voice. "Did you just copy and paste that?" Rockman questioned the narrator. Yes, by the way. And I also stole this idea from "Bokaj Rellim". "Rellim" for short. Or "that wierdo who created Aero" for long. The Adoring Fan then choked on the shotgun he was about to give to Rockman and died a slow and painful death. Then he slowly faded, and reappeared on his couch, reading animal porn magazines. "OMG! OMGOMGOMG!! DUDE! You're like totally at my house! OMG!"  
said a voice. "Stop it!" cried Rockman. "I'm not crying!" Rockman enforced. "Forget this shit. I'm going to Cutman's house."  
So off Rockman went, journeying to Cutman's house. It's getting boring having to type Rockman all the time. ROCKMAN DID THIS. ROCKMAN DID THAT. OMG ROCKMAN YOU'RE SO COOL. Let's just call him Rockman.  
Only 10 km left for Rockman to travel, he got on a freaking horse somehow and went 9.9 km. Then, his horse disappeared. A few seconds after that, A FREAKING BLACK HOLE SUCKED UP ALL THE BLOOD INSIDE ROCKMAN, LEAVING HIS CORPSE TO ROT AND DRY FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. But then, Rockman respawned, so the black hole kind of failed. Then, the black hole shape shifted into the form of a giant capsule, with a sign on the very top which read "Rockman". "What the shit is this?" Rockman said, as he stepped in. Woah, woah, woah. Rockman just stepped into something he didn't even know, because there was a sign that said his name? Yeah. Smart thinking, einstein. You deserve a fucking medal. "Wh- What's going on?!?" How the hell should I know? All I do is write the story. "Screw you" Rockman said, QUITE CALMLY. "I'M GONNA FUCKING RIP YOUR BALLS AP-" "Rockman. There is no need for this rude language of yours. Now then. I must say a really long and unnecessary paragraph describing how you're the only robot in the world who can finish the job and all that other shit. You know what? I'm not even gonna freaking bother. Here's a power up which allows you to do the Hadouken. It's pretty sweet. You'll be all "OH GUESS WHAT HOMIES. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT BISH. I GOT A FREAKIN HADOUKEN RIGHT HERE. YOU WANNA MESS WITH ME?" and then you'll be like "HADOUKEN!" and they'll like totally disappear and then like totally reappear when the camera goes else where. WICKED SICK MAN. WICKED SICK", Dr. Light's holographic figure said. "Anyways, I gotta go. Pizza is getting cold. Oh, by the way, I could've put all the upgrades I've made into this capsule, but I'm not going to. I'm too lazy to. It's your problem now, shit storm! Good luck finding all the other upgrades!" Dr. Light had forgotten to turn off the hologram, so Rockman was just stuck there, watching Dr. Light eat his pizza. For the next 10 minutes. "I want some porn. Is this the button, Roll?" and the hologram disappeared. "He didn't even tell me how to use the freaking hadouken! Piece of shit!"  
And so, Rockman stormed out of the capsule shaped thingy and kicked it. Really softly. So softly, that nothing happened. Then, 3 seconds later, the capsule turned back into a black hole which sucked up Rockman. And after Rockman was sucked in, something very strange happened. It wasn't ordinary at all. The black hole actually shaped into the form of an actual human being. But the dark figure didn't have any color whatsoever at all. It was pure black. It seemed as though the figure's mouth opened. "OMG! OMGOMGOMG!! DUDE! You're like totally inside my body! OMG!" said the figure, as it slowly faded away, off the surface of the planet.

What will become of Rockman? We will find out in the next chapter: _The inside of a crazed fanboy!_


	3. All work and no play! Btw Rockman is gay

**We join our not- really- hero hero Rockman, still standing next to his only gay fan.  
Is what I would've said, but this is Chapter 3.  
This is what I'm going to say, since this is Chapter 3.  
We join our not- really- hero hero Rockman, now inside the body of his only gay fan.  
Wow. If you measure those two sentences, they're the same length. Funny, ehwat?**

Rockman opened his eyes, and found himself inside this pink colored container. "Where the fuck am I?" Rockman yelled. Apparentally, he yelled so loud inside that small space that an echo formed. Sadly, this echo made Rockman deaf. For a few seconds. :D "So then, where am I?" Rockman asked me. Oh, hold on a second... I'm not allowed to include non- fictional characters! Crap! Um.. ok. I got it. "So then, where am I?" Rockman asked himself. Well, Rockman, you're inside the heart of your fanboy. Isn't that cute? "No, it isn't. Get me the hell out of here. It smells like shit." Ever heard of a Mega Buster? "Wha-.. oh. Right. So you actually want me to kill this guy from the inside of him?" Rockman asked, happily. Hell no! I was just asking if you knew you had a Mega Buster! I never said anything about killing the guy from the freaking inside of him! Jesus! "Can I do it anyways?" Rockman questioned me. Yeah, sure. He's just gonna respawn a few seconds later, anyways. Hey, have you figured out that Hadouken thing yet? "Yeah. I think that if I yell "Hadouken!" then I fling out this wave of pure energy from the inside of me", Rockman claimed. Well, try it. "Fine. Hadouken!" Rockman yelled, not very surprised to see strings of confetti pouring out of his mouth. Apparentally, the confetti clogged the tubes leading out the heart. A few seconds later, the blood from inside the heart got so high that it got up to Rockman's chin. Sadly, the Adoring fan was already dead. Wait. That's not sad. Anyways. A few seconds after the blood got up to Rockman's chin, he knew he was a goner. Which he was! The blood had gotten so high that it had actually DROWNED Rockman. Then, he respawned outside where the adoring fan was. Sadly, the adoring fan had also respawned. Another sad thing is that the adoring fan was actually on pluto before he died. So Rockman and the adoring fan were stuck on pluto, forever (Or for the time being). Not surprisingly, Rockman had also found pieces and parts of beat's deceased body. "Hey, narrator! I have a great idea!" Rockman said,  
filled with joy. "Hadouken!" Rockman yelled, aiming his mouth at the adoring fan. Unfortunately, all that happened was that Rockman barfed on the adoring fan. Don't worry though, the adoring fan still loves him. "I was actually hoping to tie him up in confetti, so he'd be stuck here and he wouldn't be able to respawn since he wouldn't be dead", Rockman explained. Well, why not give it another shot? It might work this time. Meanwhile, the adoring fan was just sitting there, covered in Rockman's barf. All the sudden, a huge unidentified flying object stringed right into Pluto, and made a crater as big as a really big crater! "What the shit was that?" Rockman asked himself as he ran to the crater. It was way too dusty to see anything. A few seconds later, the dust from the massive collision cleared up, to reveal none other than Red. A fan- made recolor of Sonic. "Megaman", Red started. "I have come to kill you." "First off, the name is Rockman. Not all this Megaman shit. ROCKMAN. Second off,how the shit did you fly here. Third and most importantly, who the fuck are you?" Rockman pointed at Red. "I am Red, Sonic's long lost brother. I have every single super power in this stupid world." "You look more like an emo recolor of Sonic to me", Rockman yelled. "MALFUNCTION; ERROR 404 FILE CANNOT BE FOUND. PLEASE INPUT STRING", said the adoring fan and Red. "Stop doing that! I'm not running a web brows-" The game had once again frozen, thanks to Einstein here. GAME STARTED. FILE #9001 IS LOADING. PLEASE WAIT. It was all white, and then it faded into contrast, with Rockman lying on the floor. "I don't want to open my eyes! Hell, I don't want to do anything anymore! I'm just gonna fucking lay down here and do nothing!" Rockman cried out. After about 30 seconds of waiting, Rockman opened his eyes and said, "Ok. I figure you've waited enough. I've probably been lying there for hours". No, Rockman. You've only been there for half a minu- "Would you just shut up and continue the story?" Rockman said, before I could say anything else. "Can we just end the chapter? I already feel so screwed up. I need a break".

When Rockman finally feels like getting his ass on the go, the next chapter shall opened up to you: _When the world went more stupid than it already was!_


	4. ManRock the cannibal

Franklin loved to eat and that is why he became a lumberjack.  
He invented toothpaste first as a topping to eat with trees, but it was later found that his toothpaste wasn't really toothpaste at all! It was actually teeth pasted on the tree.  
Eventually, cavaties started to roll on along with gum decay, which is kind of funny because only the teeth were pasted on. Anyways, Lumberjack Franklin ate the tree and then he married Rosalyn and had a baby because he felt like it and then he ate them with a side order of cheddar trees.  
Rosalyn and the baby then became a fetus inside Franklin. Franklin was still really hungry, so he decided to eat them again twice the end.  
JK THATS NOT THE END LOL so anyways after Franklin ate them twice Rockman visited Dr. Light's house and asked him for some upgrades.  
However Dr. Light was already dead so instead there was a hologram. "Rockman", it begun, "I have played too much Pokemon and can no longer tell the difference between reality and games. I hope you get this useful message as it will help you in the future. Here is your upgrade anyways kthx." BEOOOBEOOOBEOOO. PHSOOOWWW! Rockman dropped to his knees and then found Franklin's baby and wife.  
Unfortunately Dr. Light didn't actually put in an upgrade.  
Rockman decided he was hungry so he ate them and also ate Franklin who was having a tea cup party at Cutman's house.  
"Now I just need to get to Cutman's house!"  
And so Rockman once again ventured on.  
"I am thirsty and I need some coffe-"  
Fan Adoring walked up to ManRock.  
"ManMega", cut in Fan Adoring, "don't you mean te-" "It's ManRock, Fan Adoring. Get it right", ManRock questioned. "Actually you weren't asking me a question so therefore I-" "There is no conclusion to draw from this. I am done with this conversation. Show me where ManCut is and I will make your face the GRRREATEST in Koridai. Or else, you will DIE", ManRock said. "ManRock, this isn't a CD-I video".  
"SHUT UP AND GIVE ME THE F***ING KEYS", Rockman ruptured, "BOB SAGET".  
Adoring Fan handed over the crack to Rockman, nodding his head in satisfaction.  
"It was pleasant dealing with you. Let me know when you've got more of the crack", Rockman calmly said.  
He handed Adoring Fan a ProtoMan collectible action figure, with a smirk.  
"F*** YES I GOT THE F***ING PROTOMAN COLLECTIBLE F*** YEAH YOU F***ING ASSHOLES F*-" and he suddenly blew up because it actually wasnt a ProtoMan collectible but actually a bomb which would only blow up when Adoring Fan would touch it and it would only harm him and Franklin's baby. Unfortunately it was made in China so Rockman went apeshit and ate ManGut's.. uh.. guts.  
GUTS GUTS GUTS GUTS "STFU AND STOP STEALING MY THANG GDI", Space Pirate Captain Aero whispered.  
And now for a movie trailer. YAY TRAILER TIME!

Nicholas sat up, disturbed in his own thought. There was nothing to do. Nothing he could do. Except for one possibility, though the chances of success were slim at best. Darkness loomed the graveyard. The night sky shone on Nicholas, revealing his scar- engraved face. It was payback.

OK TIMES UP GTFO LOL SO HERES THAT DUMB FANFIC:

-and that is how RockMan discovered swiss trees.

THE END.  
OF THIS CHAPTER. 


End file.
